Archive for April, 2011

Duke Out On Dacre

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

My street has been a construction site for ten years.

 

Older homes are coming down and giant, new colosseses are being erected. Dr. Joe lives at the foot of the street. He’s an archeologist, specializing in Greek civilization. He says he recognizes the style of one the new places. He unearthed a mausoleum that looked exactly like it.

 

Everybody’s mad on Dacre Crescent. I guess, after ten years, people have hit construction fatigue. It’s no wonder. One of the neighbors cut stone on his front lawn for over six months. He only stopped when the investigative reporters from our weekly shopper caught wind of the dust cloud that enveloped the street.

 

Nine houses have been renovated on our street of 30 homes. There are three more coming. Each renovation –a rebuild really– has averaged 14 months. A couple of the projects lasted 26 months.

 

The police have been called, the city, and province have been petitioned. Neighbors have hired lawyers and taken each other to court. There are lobbies and lawsuits.

 

Meanwhile, the trucks roll in and the trucks roll out. The banging starts at 7 and goes to 7.

 

From my home office window, I have seen red-faced neighbors almost come to blows with the people who live next to them, or with contractors.

 

My solution to all the animosity hasn’t caught on yet, but I think it has some merit. It’s called “Duke Out On Dacre.” The idea is elegant, if I do say so myself.

 

Every Friday night, there should be a wrestling ring erected at the end of the street. Battling neighbors would then duke it out to settle their differences. You could have weight classes, tag teams, and mens and womens events. Even a cage match or two.

 

I draw the line at weapons, although I might consider the odd chair, thrown into the ring for drama.

 

Yes, Duke Out On Dacre has legs. A reality show would follow.

 

And people would think twice about construction.

 

© Patrick O’Neill 2011. All rights reserved.

Be Sociable, Share!

The Paradox of the Church

Monday, April 18th, 2011

This was intended to be a fire and brimstone post critical of Mother Church, but something changed over the weekend.

 

Here are two items that were in the news last week. Both indicate that the Church is still way out of touch with its modern Congregation.

 

First, The Catholic League, a civil rights organization set up to promote antidefamation against Catholics, placed a provocative full page ad in the New York Times. It’s purpose was to set the record straight on sexual abuse in the Church.

 

Here’s one particularly lawyerly, and offensive passage, from the ad:

 

“The refrain that child rape is a reality in the Church is twice wrong: let’s get it straight–they weren’t children and they weren’t raped. We know from the John Jay study that most of the victims have been adolescents, and that the most common abuse has been inappropriate touching (inexcusable though it is, it is not rape.)“

 

The full page, an approximately $120,000 ad buy, goes on to inform us that the John Jay report says “more than three-quarters of the victims were post pubescent, meaning abuse did not meet the clinical definition of pedophilia.”

 

“Why,” the Catholic League asks, “are priests being singled out when the sexual abuse of minors among other segments of the population is on-going today?”

 

The ad goes on to blame the problem on the media and “the real damage done by the therapeutic approach” to reassigning priests.

 

That the moral authority of the Christian world, through an advocacy group, would take such an approach to winning back public support for its priests, is further evidence that the horror of sexual abuse in the Church is exacorbated by the attempt to normalize it.

 

Let’s move along to Item Two.

 

Sister Elizabeth A. Johnson, a Fordham university professor, was accused of violating Church doctrine, because she questions how “cultural bias among biblical scribes may have led to women’s diminished roles in Western religious traditions, especially the Roman Catholic Church.” (New York Times, April 12, 2011)

 

Gender in the Church is a growing issue. Sister Johnson, true to the spirit of Vatican II, has sought to overcome “every type of discrimination, whether social or cultural, whether based on sex, race, color, social condition, language or religion.”

 

Her crime, it appears, is to suggest that feminine as well as masculine imagery be used in prayers referring to God.

 

Terrence W. Tilley, the chairman of the Theology department at Fordham, defended Sister Johnson. He is quoted by the Times as saying: “What the bishops have done is to reject 50 years of contemporary theology. Sister Johnson has been attempting to push Catholic thinking along new paths. And the bishops have made it clear–this is something they stand against.”

 

Sister Johnson, author of two best sellers and standard texbooks in theological studies, has promised to use the bishop’s rebuke to “delve more deeply” into her thinking.

 

So, here I was, ready to use this post to rail at the Church’s myopia and reactionary conservativism.

 

Then I went to the movies.

 

The best contemporary depiction of agape and the spirtual life is the French film “Of Gods And Men.” This is a moving and revealing true story of eight Trappists Monks living in a small Algerian village. The monks and their Muslim neighbors live in close community, despite the growing corruption of the local government and the rise of radical Muslim fundametalism.

 

The monk’s struggle to choose between their own personal safety and living in fraternity with the villagers, who are also targets of the radicals, is an incredible depiction of humanity and spirituality. It reminded me of all that is still good in the tenents of religious life.

 

Despite the growing threat, the Trappists commit to serve the community, to live simply and put service to their beliefs ahead of threat of terrorism and death.

 

The film, directed by Xavier Beauvois, won the Grand Prix at Cannes this past year. It was certainly deserving.

 

The film closes with this letter from one of the monks:

 

“Should it ever befall me, and it could happen today, to be a victim of the terrorism swallowing up all foreigners here, I would like my community, my church, my family, to remember that my life was given to God and to this country.

 

The Unique Master of all life was no stranger to this brutal departure. And that my death is the same as so many other violent ones, consigned to the apathy of oblivion.

 

I’ve lived enough to know that I am complicit in the evil that, alas, prevails over the world and the evil that will smite me blindly. I could never desire such a death. I could never feel gladdened that these people I love be accused randomly of my murder.

 

I know the contempt felt for the people here, indiscriminately. And I know how Islam is distorted by a certain Islamism. This country, and Islam, for me are something different. They’re a body and a soul.
My death, of course, will quickly vindicate those who called me naïve, or idealistic, but they must know that I will be freed of a burning curiosity and, God willing, will immerse my gaze in the Father’s and contemplate with him his children of Islam as he sees them.

 

This thank-you which encompasses my entire life includes you, of course, friends of yesterday and today, and you too, friend of the last minute, who knew not what you were doing.

 

Yes, to you as well I address this thank-you and this farewell which you envisaged. May we meet again, happy thieves in Paradise, if it pleases God, the Father of us both. Amen.”

 

Like everything else, I guess, the Church is also a place of paradox. I am glad I was reminded of that before I got on my high horse.

 

© Patrick O’Neill 2011. All rights reserved.

Be Sociable, Share!

Aunt Jan at 97

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

I was at my Aunt Jan’s birthday party last night, with my wife and two of Jan’s daughters. According to Jan, it was the best birthday yet.

 

Aunt Jan turned 97. Or 79. She wasn’t quite sure. I’d like to do 79 like she’s doing 97. She is sharp and with it, has a great sense of humor, and an even better attitude.

 

Jan’s outlook on life could only be described as POSITIVE. She is a glass-half-full kind of person, even when she is not feeling well or is struggling with getting around in the winter. She is a woman of deep faith and for her birthday, received an annointing from Father Dan, at Joan of Arc Church.

 

I told her I wanted to sit as close to her as I possibly could in case her holiness was leaking. She gave me a whack.

 

I only really got to know Jan after my mother died. My Dad would come for dinner twice a week and I thought it would be good for him to have family and contemporaries for company. What I hadn’t reckoned on was what  a good friend, and teacher, Jan would become to me.

 

She is interested in everything. She stays abreast of the news of the day, the doings of her extensive family and her network of friends, although dwindling.

 

On her 97th, her daughters took her shopping at IKEA. She hadn’t been before and thought it was a wonderful outing. I don’t know about you, but wandering around IKEA makes me exhausted. I want to lie down on one of their bed displays for a nap ten minutes after entering the store. Jan was just fine. She was happy to use a shopping cart for support and wander around the big box store looking for a good pillow for one of her chairs.

 

She told me one time over dinner that she never really got interesting until she turned 60. She was too busy looking after her seven kids, she explained.

 

I took that as a hopeful sign for me.

 

At 90, she went to Rome. I had suggested she might like to see the Vatican, as she had never gone. Not only did she go, she mounted a family expedition and went with several of her kids and in-laws. Wow!

 

Our society does a very bad job of honoring its elders. For the most part, they are ignored or patronized. My Aunt, and those of her generation survived depression and war and did so with courage and resourcefulness.

 

Like her annointing, I’m hoping that a little of that rubs off on me.

 

© Patrick O’Neill 2011. All rights reserved.

Be Sociable, Share!

New Program: The Five Transitions

Monday, April 4th, 2011

The Latin word, transitio, means to “go across.” Transition is a process that every human being is actively engaged in, whether we recognize it or not!

 

Cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien identifies the five transitions we encounter during our lives:

 

• Work

 

• Relationship

 

• Health

 

• Finances

 

• Identity

 

If we are in more than one transition at a time, we are in a metamorphosis. Metamorphosis is a transformation from one state to something completely different or new.

 

Transition is an agent of revelation and change. Through the Five Transitions we learn:

 

• What requires change or strengthening in our thinking;

 

• Our unique array of gifts and talents;

 

• Our character qualities;

 

• Our values and principles;

 

• Our priorities.

 

How we respond to the rigors of transition depends on our readiness. We must be willing to see transition as the inevitable encounter with the future and forget about shoring up a safe hiding place. No matter how many defenses we erect, transition will always find us, always be a force in our lives.

 

One of the hardest things to accomplish when you’re going through a difficult transition is to stay in the present. It’s easier sometimes to time travel to the the past or the future, rather than stay in the “here and now.”

 

When we time travel, we risk sabotaging the transition process by overlaying it with our resentments and fears: resentment about the past that has fallen away and fear of handling the unknown and emerging future.

 

It’s easy to terrify ourselves while navigating transition by listening to the inner critic whose whole job is to undermine our confidence and convince us of our inadequacies. If we believe ourselves inadqequate, we will set up a self-fulfilling prophecy and obstruct our own progress.

 

When we remain attached to personal power–our accrued knowledge, skills, experience, character qualities and resourcefulness– we can maintain our strength in transition. But every transition demands that we make choices. Choosing from a place of strength, clarity and confidence is our best hope for success.

 

Ultimately, transitions, when well met, provide a sense of being fully alive, engaged and empowered for life. A life without transition is dull, boring and tedious.

 

At this time of accelerating change, I am pleased to announce a new course of The Five Transitions, June 25 and 26, 2011, in Toronto. For more information, please contact Lynne at 416-361-3331.

 

We expect that this program will fill fast. Please contact us soon so that we can secure your place.

 

© Patrick O’Neill 2011. All rights reserved.

Be Sociable, Share!

59 Berkeley Street  |  Toronto, Ontario M5A 2W5  |  P 416.361.3331 | F 416.361.3284
© Extraordinary Conversations 2013. All Rights Reserved