The fourth way to end well is by repairing damage done to relationships either because a task has been mishandled or an injury has been caused through our words or actions. Endings, including year-end, are a natural time to reflect on the activities of the past year to examine our impact, both positive and negative.

We all make mistakes. It takes a strong heart to take responsibility for a mistake or an injury to others. What are the regrets I have from my words or actions this past year?  There may be none, but it is an act of wisdom to ensure that we have reflected on our impact and attended to those instances where our intentions and impacts were not aligned.

Courage and personal responsibility are required to initiate truth-telling and reparation. That, and a good apology. An apology is an expression of regret that seeks to repair damage done to a relationship. Angeles Arrien reminds us that an apology with no promise to change the behavior that caused the damage in the first place is empty.

Here is a short meditation to assist you in examining your impact:

• Have I hurt anyone this past year through my words or actions? What must I do to repair the damage I have done?

• Have I disappointed another by that which I have done or not done? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I misled others through my actions or inaction? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I misused humor at the expense of another person? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I been negative or cynical and had a negative impact on other people? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I misused power in some way, bullied another person, or used fear as a tactic to get my way? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I withdrawn or withheld my gifts, engagement or love because I was angry about something this year? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I caused conflict to get attention, win, or hurt others? What must I do to repair the damage?

• Have I lied, misused my word, or taken advantage of someone this year? What must I do to repair the damage?

Visionmakers seek to enter the container of a new year with no regrets, no baggage. They recognize that strong relationships are not only nurturing but also vital to happiness, well-being, and safe passage on the journey of meaning.

That is why they are careful stewards of their impact…and committed to do no harm. Ending well creates the ability to begin well, a recipe for good Karma.

This is the last Visions post for 2009. Thank you for visiting this blog and for sharing it with your family and friends. I will be back in January.  Until then, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.

The third practice of ending well is to acknowledge the people and situations that challenged us to grow this past year.

A challenge is the stimulation that comes from a test of the heart, intellect or will. Its purpose on a journey of meaning is four-fold:

• to call forward our personal power

• to fund new resources

• to teach us how to apply these powers and resources

• and to expose that which requires strengthening.

When we meet a challenge and overcome it, we have empirical evidence that our spirit has grown and that we have learned something new about ourselves, other people or what is possible in our journey to Destiny. When we fall short of our goals or expectations, we discover what needs strengthening or what changes are required for forward progress. The knowledge that comes from failure, applied to the next attempt, creates progress.

Successes and failures that come from challenges are part of Destiny’s plan for each of us. As such, we honor the gift of learning and growth by recognizing these lessons daily.

At year’s end, however, we have a unique opportunity to remember that personal power  and progress are a result of full engagement with life.

Who or what has challenged you to grow in 2009?

How did you meet these challenges?

When a breakthrough occurred, what changed in your nature, relationships or circumstances?

How did you respond to breakdown or failure?

To whom do you owe a debt of thanks for helping you grow into your best self?

As our original medicine develops, we become potent creative forces in the world. We begin to see that the idea of what a human being can achieve and the reality of what is possible are often far apart. We are far more creatively potent than we know, a truth that is revealed from a challenge.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.

Angeles Arrien teaches us that the second practice of ending well is to “express positive impact.” Visionmakers pay attention to the positive impact of experience because they recognize that it is an agent of originality, that unique and individual potency that differentiates every person. When we are conscious of the positive impact that we have gained from our encounters with life, we gather our medicine -knowledge, skills, insights, discoveries and realizations that empower us for the journey ahead.

Every experience leaves its mark upon us and contributes to our originality. Experience can be defined as direct personal involvement and engagement with life that builds awareness, knowledge and skill over time. Experience is always singular and sensual. No two people ever have an identical set of experiences during their lifetime, although we all benefit and grow from experiences and events we share in common.

Every experience imprints the human form and contributes to individual and original consciousness. This “testimony of the senses” marks and shape us, contributing equally to who we are and who we are becoming.

This experiential expedition is an initiatory journey of the highest importance and through it a Visionmaker constructs his or her original vision.

Visionmakers pay attention to all that has contributed to their journey and to personal power-people, events and circumstances. In this way they advance their development and the journey of meaning, integrating their learnings from direct experience as they go.

To ignore these blessings would signal that they are no longer interested in seeing, preferring to remain ignorant or unconscious, the perfect trajectory into stasis and conformity.

At year’s end, it is vitally important to take stock of who and what has made a positive impact on our lives. Even challenging experiences can be positive if our outlook supports recognizing this truth.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.

Let our words

be the poultice

that draws forth

our humanity.

Let our words be spoken

in the spare sentences of the heart.

Let them come to life

to open, heal and create.

Let our words

draw the poison

of disappointment and loss.

and restore the spirit of the people.

Let our words be our legacy

to our children’s children;  

Let them hear how we upheld

the dream of our age.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”  ~Thornton Wilder

 

A Visionmaker walks a road of meaning with full-hearted gratitude and awe. Every day we are presented a fresh gift by Destiny - a container of 24 hours in which to generate something meaningful. How can one feel anything but full-hearted gratitude and awe for the miracle of time, space and being through which to create?

To a Visionmaker, this is the whole reason for existence - to create meaning. Even during times of challenge and disappointment, the Visionmaker looks forward to pursuing meaning with full-hearted intent.

The Full Heart is the source or every expression of love, every purposeful act, every contribution, and all prayers of thanksgiving and worship. Filled with gratitude for the opportunity to make a meaningful life and awe at the mysterious world around us, the Visionmaker is moved to match such generosity with generosity. Generosity is the natural response of a heart filled with gratitude.

Where there is gratitude and generosity, there is abundance. Abundance means plentiful, full, overflowing, affluent, more than adequate. Abundance is the name of the generative force that gives rise to all forms in the natural world.

Most people think of Abundance as an effect, the result of luck, skill or circumstances, like winning the lottery, picking the right stocks, or being born with the knack to make money. Others see it as a cyclical pattern that includes periods of lack and plenty based on largely unfathomable and unpredictable forces.

Visionmakers sees Abundance as a cause rather than an effect and as the natural energy of creation. It is always present, and always available, flowing like a great river, searching for any opening to manifest its forms.  Abundance manifests the natural world. Every person and every thing is an expression of the generative force of Abundance.

Destiny teaches the Visionmaker to see that every human being is a conduit for the flow of Abundance through acts of generosity. Henry Miller saw this distinction clearly:

 

“The one desire which grows more and more is to give… Giving and receiving are at bottom one thing, dependent upon whether one lives open or closed. Living openly one becomes a medium, a transmitter; living thus, as a river, one experiences life to the full, flows along with the current of life, and dies in order to live again in the ocean.”

^{Miller’s insight about whether one is open or closed cuts to the heart of the matter. If Abundance is the ocean, generosity is the river. By being open to the flow of abundance, the Visionmaker actively participates in the dynamics of generosity.}  

Traditionally, Visionmakers reflect on all that they are grateful for at year end. That is they way they ensure that the heart remains open to the natural law of Abundance.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.

We are coming to the end of 2009. Visionmakers pay attention to annual endings and beginnings, recognizing them as potent times for making positive changes. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be offering some thoughts about ending the year well with the intention of opening to our preferred future.

Angeles Arrien teaches that there are four traditional ways to end well, whether it is an experience, a phase of relationship, or a year:

•expressing gratitude

•identifying positive impact

•acknowledging our challenges

•reparation work

There are natural rhythms and cycles that bear study. When we pay attention to closure, especially year-end, we integrate our life experience and honor all of the lessons we have learned. This is the preparation required to enter the New Year empowered. 

Author Eudora Welty wrote: “Events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order the continuous thread of revelation.”

It is to revelation that Visionmakers turn for knowledge about the journey of meaning that they undertake, a journey singular and mysterious. Each of us must inform ourselves through the clues that we meet daily on this road where every stone, every turn, every encounter is disclosure.

Make yourself ready Visionmakers. The end of the year is nigh.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.

I am very happy to announce four new Visionmaking programs that I will offer in 2010.

The first program, Envisioning 2010 is January 16/17. Ten years of research have gone into this work which is designed to accelerate your progress towards making next year the most memorable yet. This workshop will employ a variety of traditional and modern techniques, including visualization, journeying, reflective practice, journaling and dialogue, to support you to make a personal plan to make your vision a reality.

The Vision of the Heart is being held April 24/25. This training in Visionmaking will focus on the Four-Chambered Heart, an archetype described by Angeles Arrien in her seminal book, The Four-Fold Way. We will work with the principles of deep engagement, trust, integrity and courage as portals to explore questions of purpose and meaning. 

The Cycle of Visionmaking is September 24/25.This groundbreaking workshop offers you the blueprints, tools and clear instructions to translate your dreams into constructive action. This is the fundamental tool of Visionmaking and will be a powerful learning experience to help transform your work, home and community. 

Gathering Your Power is December 4/5. Personal power is a requirement for the journey to your personal Destiny. Visionmakers understand what powers they have, what powers they must gather and how those powers support the journey of heart and meaning. Your unique and individual potency in the world is the subject of this two-day expedition to empowerment.  

All programs are in Toronto.

For more information please hit the extraordinary conversations link at the side of the page and click on the Visionmaker banner at the top of the home page. 

I hope to see you there.

© Patrick O’Neill 2009. All rights reserved.